Missionary Month: Part V - "What Ere Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part"

Recently, I've been asking myself a question that will probably sound really odd.  So maybe I'll give some background before I ask it.  Fact-according to the scriptures, the City of Enoch and all of its inhabitants were translated-that is, they were taken up into the presence of God to live with Him until Christ's Second Coming upon the earth (see Moses 7:69, cross reference Genesis 5:24).  However, according to the genealogy set forth in the book of Genesis, Noah was clearly a descendant of Enoch.  Which means that when the City of Enoch was taken up, somebody got left behind.  I guess I've been wondering, what was that like?  How did it happen?  Was Noah's family just out on a picnic one day and didn't make it back in time?  Most of all, I wondered, how did it feel?

I've had a lot of experiences recently where I feel like I've "missed the boat", so to speak.  And it hurts a little bit.  I feel like I'm doing the best I know how, and yet here I am, left behind.  This leads to a lot of introspection on whether I'm worthy, whether I'm really doing my best.  And discouragement.  A lot of that.

So, this morning, I had a little study time left, and I decided to see what I could find out.  I ran the chronology according to what's given in Genesis, and found a slightly different account in the Doctrine and Covenants.  Either way, it turns out that Noah was not born in the City of Enoch, but rather a few years after it was taken up (see Genesis 5, and D&C 107).  So, Noah probably grew up at the feet of men--his father, Lamech and grandfather, Methuselah--who had lived among Enoch's people.  Not only that, but who had been ordained to the priesthood under the hands of the first and second generations of men on this earth.  At least one of them--Methuselah, who ordained Noah--was present at a meeting three years prior to Adam's death, in which Adam blessed him, and in the which Christ Himself appeared to comfort Adam in his age (D&C 107:53-57).  Translation: the guys who were left behind when Enoch's city was taken up were not exactly what you call slouches.  Although little is known of Lamech, in the Bible Dictionary it describes Methuselah as " a righteous man," and "a prophet", and in both the Bible and modern revelation, Lamech is seen to prophesy concerning his son Noah (Genesis 5:29, Moses 8:9).  So, Noah certainly wasn't left behind unaided.  I figured that was all I was going to get.  And then I read Moses 8:2-3:

"And it came to pass that Methuselah, the son of Enoch, was not taken, that the covenants of the Lord might be fulfilled, which he made to Enoch; for he truly covenanted with Enoch that Noah should be of the fruit of his loins.

And it came to pass that Methuselah prophesied that from his loins should spring all the kingdoms of the earth (through Noah), and he took glory unto himself."

So, Methuselah "took glory" in the fact that he was left behind for the Lord's purposes.  And I guess that's what makes all the difference.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels a little left behind sometimes, and wonders if the Lord has a reason for not catching him up.  In those situations, though, I know from experience that beating yourself up doesn't help, and neither does envy or impatience.  It is probably healthy in these situations to ask oneself whether one is where they are because of unworthiness, and if so, to make the necessary changes.  After we look at our lives, though, and resolve to improve where improvement may be needed--after we have dedicated ourselves to the Lord, and asked Him to make this trial to our benefit--the best we can do is do our best to be what we God has called us to be, and take glory in the blessings that will surely follow.

Missionary Month: Part IV - On Liberty

"And they entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yeah, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage." -Alma 53:17 (emphasis added)

"...and he bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so longas there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land...And he said: Surely God shall not suffer that we, who are despised because we take upon us the name of Christ, shall be trodden down and destroyed, until we bring it upon us by our own transgressions." -Alma 46:13, 18

Eleven score and sixteen years ago, this country was founded upon the ideal that all men are created equal, and that " the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them" to certain inalienable rights.  Since then, many men and women have given their lives to the cause of maintaining this idea of liberty.  Some fought and died for it on the fields of what is now the Eastern US.  Others fought and died for it in the behalf of those who couldn't on the beaches of Normandy, and in the Pacific.  Men and women marched on Washington, staged sit-ins and protests for liberty and equality during the civil rights movement.

Still others have fought for it in less recognizable ways.  My parents were some of these; I was taught from a young age that it is a privilege to live in this country, and with that privilege come responsibilities, like serving in the community, voting, and working hard for the living I need.  Above all, I was always taught to revere the men and women who pioneered the way, and who purchased my liberty with their own blood and sweat, and to love America with all my heart.  We had a book/tape combination (now a thing of the past, I know) when I was small that sang a song to the effect of "Take your hat off and stand up when the flag goes by", because that's how you show your respect and love for America.  It's one of those things from my childhood that's stuck with me.

I've made no bones in the past about my feelings regarding the current state of things.  Today I was just as disappointed as ever.  My dad, my two little sisters and I went to the parade by our house.  We were late, and so we had to settle for a spot behind two rows of other people.  My sisters were totally engrossed in getting candy, which left Dad and I, neither of whom are talkers, really.  So, I mostly listened to the things people said around me.  More than once, I heard complaints regarding the "lack of patriotism", or the "commercial nature of these entries".  And yet, when the Classic Skating kids went by, it was all cheering and laughing, and when the several military floats went by? Utter silence.  That might be interpreted as a good thing, but when the military colorguards went by with the flag, guess who the only two people standing in my sight were.  If you guessed Dad and I, you got it.  And it's not like these people around me were too young to know what they ought to be doing-most of them must have been in their late thirties at least.  Add to that the conversation I had with my little sister on the walk home about why it is that no, stores don't always close today, because they can make money by being open, and lots of people don't get the day off, and you can see why I might be wondering if this is how the Founding Fathers would have us be celebrating their sacrifice.

The fact is, liberty may be something that every human being is entitled to, but it isn't something that comes automagically.  Liberty has already cost the blood of thousands of young men and women, as well as the tears of their mothers and families.  Freedom is not now, nor will it ever be free, because there is always someone looking to take it away.  I think most of us understand that, but the problem I see is that everyone is looking for someone else to come and stand up for them.  It's simply never worked that way.  Want more patriotism at the parade?  Stand up when the flag goes by.  Shout "God bless America" and mean it.  You want something?  Go work your tail off and get it.  That's always been the American Dream.

Don't get me wrong: I think America is still a great place to live, and there are a lot of people who are still trying to live the way I want to.  Most of them are probably doing better than I am at it.  I just think it's sad that today's meaning has been lost in the fireworks and commercialism.  After all, it's not just physical freedom from bondage that the revolutionary war brought us-because of the spiritual liberties allowed in this nation (which, by the way, are rapidly being eroded, thanks to the fact that some people's sensitivities are offended by the fact that others might consider what they are doing "wrong", whether the Laws of Nature and Nature's God say that they are wrong or not) the Restoration of the Gospel could occur, allowing us freedom from the spiritual bondage of sin.

The fact is, we stand in many ways on the brink of losing the liberties (including the religious ones that were the motivation for the movement of most of the groups that colonized the early US, by the way) that so many have died for, simply because we've grown fat, and lazy, and complacent.  We've reached a point where most people I know, when they're honest, know they ought to be doing something, but feel that they can't do enough.  That's true--this problem is one that requires personal responsibility; it takes everybody (or at least at lot of people) standing up to fix a problem like this.  So, let's start real simple: show some respect for the men and women who gave their lives so we could fly that flag.  Take your hat off and stand up when it goes by you, and teach your kids to do so as well.  Spend a little less time scoping out your place at the fireworks show, and a little more talking about why we have this holiday.  Then, if things don't change, please complain to me.

Missionary Month: Part III - Dealing with Darkness

"...and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces: and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it.

 And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation." -Isaiah 25:8-9 (KJV)

"No waters can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and skies" -Hymns, No. 105

Let's take a trip back in time, to Friday night, before the whole movie debacle, but after I'm hanging out with friends.  We take a walk.  Somehow, we get talking about the state of the world, and it just gets dark and scary and ooky for a while.  Finally, one friend has had enough.  She just doesn't want to think about it any more, and rightfully so.  We get back to her place, and the mood is still dark and she doesn't like it.  So, being the nice guy I am, I try to fix it.  "What can I turn the conversation to that will be happy?" I wonder to myself.  And then I blurt, "If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?"

We have a relatively long and inconsequential conversation on the subject.  There's some laughter.  It works out ok, I guess.

Flash forward to this morning.  I'm eating my breakfast-I have the day off, and I'm excited that I get to go help a friend who's getting a house ready to move into (I got to use a nail gun...need I say more?), so I decide to start on my study as I eat.  I like to start off with a little something from the Ensign, because it's generally straightforward, very applicable, and easy to understand-it's like a spiritual warmup for the heavier stuff (like Alma 13) I'll be reading later on in the scriptures.  I pick the first article with a title that sticks out to me, "Facing the Future with Hope".  And it has a couple paragraphs that address this very concern-the feeling from Friday night:

One of today’s great challenges is learning to conquer fear and despair in order to overcome trials and temptations. It takes only a few moments for us to open a newspaper, scroll the web, or hear a news broadcast on radio or television to be confronted with distressing accounts of crime and natural calamities that happen every day.

Understanding the promises in scripture concerning how the Lord will conquer evil and how truth will conquer error can help us face the future with hope and optimism -Elder José A. Teixeira, Ensign, July 2012, "Facing the Future with Hope" (pp 15-17)

As I read those words, I begin to see in my mind a different way-a better way-of dealing with the darkness of the other night.  I begin to remember scriptures I've called upon before, in times of trial and fear, for the strength to go on.  Two, in particular, favorites discovered on the mission, stick out to me, and I wish that I'd shared them that night.  Both say essentially the same thing-that in the day of His Second Coming, Christ will wipe away the tears of those that have waited for Him.  They will be His people, and He will be their God (see Isaiah 25, and Revelation 17).

How would that conversation have gone differently if I'd confronted the darkness in the world with the hope presented by the Light of the World?  I'm not really sure.  But I'd like to find out.  The interesting part for me about this whole thing is this-as we discussed the darkness, it only got worse.  Sure, each of us felt we should do something, but what can one person possibly do against the onslaught that looms?  How can one person hope to make a difference against that?  And then as I read the scriptures this morning, and pondered what they said, I knew.  Sure, I'm only one guy, and maybe my stand against the darkness of the world will be insignificant.  But someone else out there wishing they could do something may just see it, and make a decision to do the same. According to another article I read in the Ensign yesterday, "Anytime we live a principle of the gospel more fully, someone else is blessed either directly or indirectly." (Russell T. Osguthorpe, "The Lesson is in the Learner" pp 30-33).  

Besides, when any man worthily stands against the darkness, whether he realizes it or not, I firmly believe he stands with the Lord, the God and Rock of Israel at his back.  It's possible we still will be rejected, hurt, maybe even made to cry, but in the end, when that day of reckoning comes, those who stood in spite of the temptation to despair, whose hope in Christ was stronger than their fear of failing, will find every tear wiped away in the joy of their Redeemer's love.  But the best news of all is that we don't even have to wait for that...As I read the words about the Lord wiping tears from the faces of the faithful, I couldn't help but think of Alma's words: that He suffered " pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind... that the word might be fulfilled which saith he [took] upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people." (Alma 7:11).  The fact is, He's already wiping tears from off the faces of His people; He already is their God, and they His people.  And He invites every one of us to come in, and be part of that-to come to Him and be healed.

Once, on my mission, just after a leader I had greatly admired had been transferred away, I found a note he had cleverly secreted in my suit pocket during a companion exchange.  On it? A scripture reference that I suppose sums up the way we have to deal with darkness and despair:

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31

Missionary Month: Part II - Mistakes

"weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning...Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;"
-Psalms 30:5 (King James Version)


I'm not entirely sure that this will be a daily thing for the entire month (if you missed what's going on with that, check out this post), but it could be.  As it turns out, I waste a lot of time on a lot of worthless stuff, so when you remove that, I have a lot of spare time; time I can use to do things I really want to-like write a journal, and study a ton of scriptures, which then leads me to want to share stuff.  Since I'm still working on the whole "recluse" thing, that means I'll probably come here for that.

Thursday night, I went to the temple with some friends.  It was good, as going to the temple ought always to be.  I had a lot of questions come to mind during the endowment, which is a bit unusual for me.  One thing that I have pondered a lot, and felt like I've never really gotten a satisfying answer on is the Fall (not autumn, silly, Adam).  It's not that the idea of Adam falling and us ending up in this state to be tested bothers me-I understand that part.  And I get that the Fall was necessary so that we could come to earth, and so that the Atonement could be provided.  I get that it puts us in a position where we have agency.  But somehow it just always seemed like we focus on it a lot more than we should for all of that.  I mean, every investigator has to be taught about the fall, usually the second time they meet with missionaries.  And it's a pretty big chunk of the text in that lesson.  On my mission, I always figured that this was because we had to teach people the correct way of viewing it, and help them understand that there is no such thing as "original sin", that men are to be held accountable for themselves and themselves alone.  And I think to a degree that was why we focused on it in the mission.  But that doesn't explain why some people have referred to is as one of the "Three Pillars of the Church", or why it's brought up so much in the scriptures.  I think there's more to it than that.

On Thursday night, as I pondered it, I came to a partial conclusion, but I still didn't fully understand.  I came to realize that the reason we talk about the fall so much is that we each have our personal "fall" moments, that we each have to step forth from the innocence of our personal Edens, and make mistakes, and that somehow there is an advantage in this.  I didn't get why, but I trusted the feelings I was getting, and sort of left it at that, hoping that somehow I would muddle out how to act on this knowledge later.  By the time we left the temple, I had largely set it aside, something to worry about later.  What I didn't know about that moment, that little tidbit of light, is that a loving Heavenly Father, who knows me better than I know myself, who wants the best for me, was preparing me for what would happen a little over 24 hours later, when I made the mistake of ignoring several promptings of the spirit that would have helped me avoid seeing a movie that left me feeling sick inside, and like I had betrayed the God I've covenanted to follow.

I came home that night, and one of the first things I did, in my haste to avoid ever feeling that way again, was to text one of the friends who invited me, and tell her I didn't think I could hang out with them any more.  And then I got on my knees, and I prayed...I prayed about a lot of things, and I told Heavenly Father about that text.  Immediately, I knew that had been the wrong thing to do.  As I told Him about the kind of man I wanted to be, I felt a gentle nudge in my heart--a question: "But how will you be that kind of man if you never spend time around other people?  How will you learn to say no when it's hard if you just withdraw from others all the time?"

Not finding any real good answers to that question, I went to bed, still troubled.  I woke up troubled.  I did my grocery shopping troubled.  And then, my wonderful little sister, who I had shared most of this with, because she's pretty much my best friend, although now that she's engaged, I barely ever see her, texted me these wise words--"personally I think making mistakes is the best if it causes change" (emphasis added).  And that's when I got it.  Does the mistake still hurt? Do I still wish I'd walked out of that movie?  You betcha. But in a way, my making that mistake was a good thing, because it finally pushed me over the edge into action.  I finally felt enough pain to drive me to make a real commitment to overcome a problem.  Just as it was better for Adam and Eve to Fall, so that they could grow, it is better for me to be putting myself out there with other people, where yes, I might make mistakes and do things that make me feel like a jerk, because how else do you learn how to stand up and say "enough is enough"?

Let me make the point I'm trying put forth very clear here:  I'm not saying that it's a good idea to knowingly walk into a situation that I know is going to end in me doing something I shouldn't.  In retrospect, knowing what I know now, I should have listened to my feelings.  I've learned that now, the hard way.  But sometimes that's the way that learning has to occur.  In order to get good at anything, one must start out being terrible at it; it's very rare that someone just picks something up and is awesome at it from the moment they start.  Perhaps such people exist, but I'm not one of them. 

So, I made a mistake the other night.  Does that mean I withdraw back into my antisocial bubble and live a life of solitude so that no one ever pressures me into doing something wrong?  Does it mean that I choose from now on never to spend any time with anyone who I have not first vetted to make sure that their standards and mine coincide?  I think not.  I think it means that I pick myself up, dust off, and get back out there, knowing now what I'm really up against, and ready to stand up to it the way I should.  Because Heavenly Father never meant for us to be recluses, or to spend our lives within the walls of the temple.  He meant for each of us to get out there into the dark, crazy, sinful world, and take a little of the temple with us, to lead each other to do the right thing and become more like him.  He knows we'll make mistakes-that point is moot.  The question is, do we learn when we fall?